Thank you, Lord!

The genetic counselor called me this morning and gave me the best news ever: my baby's tests came back normal! My baby's chromosomes are normal!! She also told me that we are having a girl! Makayla's wish for a baby sister is coming true.

I immediately called my husband and told him that the results came back normal. Then I called my siblings and parents to let them know that our prayers had been answered.

I thank you, Lord, for your many blessings!

A Mother's Worst Fear

I received a call from the genetic counselor on Monday regarding my second trimester Triple Screen test, which seemed to indicate a higher than normal chance of Down Syndrome for my baby. She told me not to worry and told me I can get an amniocentesis to diagnose for DS. I can't sleep at night. I have cried and prayed. I have called everyone I know and trust, hoping for some advice on whether to get the amnio done or not. I have discussed it with my husband and he places the decision squarely on my shoulders.

I know, in my heart of hearts, that I will love this baby, no matter how he or she turns out. I believe I can deal with a baby with Down Syndrome. But my husband is not so certain and I can't blame him. Raising a child with a disability is a major thing.

After much prayer, advice-seeking, and a lot of research, I finally decided to go ahead and have the procedure done. Early this morning, my husband and I drove silently to the hospital for the test. The nurses who greeted us were very friendly and helpful.

When it was time for the test, my husband and I were ushered into a small room furnished with an ultrasound machine and a stretcher. The doctor smiled and introduced herself and her nurse helped me onto the stretcher. On the ceiling directly above me were pictures of handsome Hollywood men and a poster of a sandy beach and a palm tree. The doctor told me to relax and just stare at the pictures on the ceiling. She took ultrasound images of the baby and told her nurse that I had an anterior placenta. After a minute of examining my baby, she took out a very long needle and told me to relax. "This won't hurt at all," she said before she plunged the needle into my belly. She had lied to me: it hurt and I lost my breath.

My husband could see I was in pain and started rubbing my arm. I feared for my baby at that moment. Will the doctor accidentally poke her with the needle? Can my baby feel my anxiety? Will he or she be OK?

After they finished taking out the requisite amount of amniotic fluid and pulled the needle out, the doctor smiled and said, "That's it! You're done. Do you want to see your baby on the ultrasound screen?" I don't remember what I said but she started pointing out the baby's backside, feet, side profile and cute little fingers. Then I was ushered out of the room and brought to a recliner, where I was required to sit for at least 20 minutes. I was anxious, in pain, worried and racked with guilt. What have I done? Have I risked my baby's life?

Now it is just a matter of waiting for the results. I don't think I will be getting much sleep tonight.

Twelve weeks pregnant: The Sweetest Sound

To an expectant mother, the sweetest, most beautiful sound is the sound of the unborn child's heart beat. The sound of galloping horses helps to temporarily ease the anxieties one feels about a work in progress, one whose finished product remains unseen until many months of "ifs" and "maybes". And nothing is more beautiful than seeing that fetus moving about on an ultrasound screen, its little limbs pumping and a tiny blinking circle signifying a strong, beating heart.




This time around, Bob and I had Makayla along for the experience. She has been eager to see "her" baby after months of kissing it through my slowly expanding belly. While I imagine she expected a Kodak-style image, she nevertheless "oohed" and "aahed" along with her father as the image of "her" baby flashed on the ultrasound screen. The technician graciously pointed out to us the baby's tiny toes and fingers and its beautiful beating heart.

Having my daughter there for the experience brought back memories of my first pregnancy. I will never forget the first time I saw Makayla, then an 18 week-old fetus, on the ultrasound screen. It was something I had never experienced before and one I found awe-inspiring. And now, as I look upon the ultrasound photo of my second child, God's work in progress, I cannot help but be amazed by God's power again. The fact that a cluster of cells has grown into a recognizable human fetus in a matter of weeks is nothing short of amazing. How can one look upon the miracle of life and not believe that there is an intelligent, divine being behind the intricate design? I don't know. I, for one, give God the glory and praise for what he has created, and what he continues to create, in this my child.

Blessings and Gratitude

I am officially entering my second trimester of pregnancy. Unlike my first pregnancy, it has not been an easy pregnancy thus far. I have had pretty severe morning (noon and night) sickness, dizziness, fatigue, and mood swings. Prescription medication for the "treatment" of morning sickness has proven to be only slightly beneficial. I am uncomfortable in my own skin and outgrowing my clothes rather quickly. I find myself crying upon watching bank commercials and episodes of "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and craving obscene amounts of cheese. Despite all the nausea and discomfort, I feel blessed to have this little one growing inside me. I feel blessed to have the ability to give my daughter the sibling she has been asking for. And, on top of it all, I feel so blessed to be married to a man who has stepped up to the plate when I couldn't even get out of bed. My dear husband does the dishes, laundry, the house cleaning and takes care of our daughter. He drives me wherever I need to go when I can't drive myself because dizziness or nausea have overcome me. He goes out of his way to fetch me the exact type of food I am craving at the moment and he looks the other way while I stuff my face with cheese and anything covered in cheese.

I am so grateful for my husband and the way he has shown me how much he truly loves me. I need his support now more than ever - this pregnancy is wearing me down - and he has been there for me when I have needed him the most. I love you, Bob, and thank you for all you do for me and Makayla. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

First Ultrasound

I am 10 weeks pregnant. I was able to see my little peanut today. He/she is merely a little peanut shaped thing in my giant uterus but the best part was when the doctor said, "And here's the heartbeat." It was reassuring to find out that there was a heartbeat and it was strong.

So sick of being sick

The nausea never ends. Every day ushers in several new episodes of throwing up. I find myself planning my meals according to how disgusting it will be coming back up. This is the worst part of pregnancy. Still, I feel blessed to be pregnant, even while I find myself head first in the toilet.

The dreaded morning (noon and night) sickness

The "morning sickness" started this week. I don't know who came up with that name. In my case, it's not fitting at all. I am nauseated all day long. The hard part is I am craving spicy foods right now, which also tend to make me more nauseated. I can't win.

Confirmation

I went to the doctor's office yesterday to get a blood test, which would confirm the pregnancy. My doctor chuckled at how early I was testing for pregnancy and he couldn't believe that I got a positive pregnancy test just 2 1/2 weeks after my LMP. He told me to call in 24 hours for the results.

I waited impatiently for the 24 hours to pass. I managed to wait an additional hour and called the doctor's office. The receptionist simply told me that the test was "positive, 855." HcG levels were 855, which was a very positive pregnancy result. Time to tell my husband that we were expecting a second child.

Two pink lines

I took a pregnancy test a week ago and saw two faint pink lines. "This couldn't be right," I thought and decided to take another test a week later. Today, the second test showed two distinct pink lines. My "little visitor" wasn't due until the early part of August yet I was already getting a very positive pregnancy test. I figured it was time to go to my doctor's office and get this thing figured out.